It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
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Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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