That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
