East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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