Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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