i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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