The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
one two three fourrrrnication!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
