I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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