bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
