Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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