i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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