She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
this will be a night to untag.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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