So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There's always time for handjobs
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
