Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
