like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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