So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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