i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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