You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
