We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
