I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
how drunk are you?
Several
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
