Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
