on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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