I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
