Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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