i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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