She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
How's work?
Spinning.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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