My nipple is on Facebook.
now i know why i became what i already was.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I stole a fireplace last night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
