You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
