So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize