i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
