yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
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we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
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Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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