So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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