Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
