fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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