my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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