dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
