Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
