I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
