my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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