Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
