The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
