I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
