What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
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You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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