Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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