from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Randomize
