when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
