His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
