Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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