i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
