Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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