i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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