How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
