I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I know her cup size but not her name....
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