this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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