My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
