I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
