You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize