Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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