As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
