Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
