I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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