before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
