You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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