I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize