I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
