Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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