Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize