1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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